On the subject of Love

When I was younger, I was much like any other young girl. I watched all the princess movies with all their happy endings. I watched all the quirky romantic movies and television shows where everything was over done and stomach butterflies were a must where love was concerned.
All these fictional stories telling me what fictional characters do in fictional situations, ultimately leading to a lovely fictional ending. It's no wonder I had no idea what I was doing in High School. I had unknowingly let fake stories define what love was for me. I didn't have a fucking clue. With no real examples of love, what's a girl supposed to do? So, I found faith in Cinderella and Molly Ringwald. I let every character that John Cusak played to become a mold of what my lover boy should be like (with a few bad boy twists, of course.)

As you can imagine, any relationship, or possible relationship, failed. I was never surprised, though. That alone should have clued me into what kind of bullshit I was accepting as replacement for love. See, I always thought love was where you feel like the world can break at any moment if the relationship didn't work. I was fooled into believing that love was this blazing fire with fire-proof butterflies gnawing at your stomach 24/7. I thought it was okay for me to get hurt by the guy, because love was struggle. If it was complicated, it meant we could bond through making it work. Basically, my subconscious understanding was, love=overkill.


I know that sounds bad. Now.


So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I really did fall in love. It wasn't with the bad boy with a sensitive side, it wasn't some guy I met two days ago at a coffee shop, and it wasn't the most-popular-high-school-jock.
It was with Michael Anthony Whisman. My best friend. I've known him nearly six years now. I've seen him at his worst and at his best and love him through every part.
We told each other everything before we even became each others everything. We knew about the past girlfriends and boyfriends, and still accepted each other. I couldn't believe how easy it was to fall in love with him.
It wasn't some overkill where I couldn't sleep at night because I didn't know where the relationship would be the next day. We both knew we would be together.

All the princes, John Cusaks and bad boys vanished completely from my illusion of love and were replaced by the most real thing I've ever known and felt. Michael replaced them all.

I learned that butterflies are just another form a nervousness. I learned that intimacy is much more than what we see and read in stories. I learned that a want for overkill comes from being bored. I learned how stupid I was, ha ha. More importantly, I learned how happy I could be.

Love isn't easy, but with the right person, love comes easily.